Funny Clean Out Your Fridge Pics

Got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working I'm going to my mum's"

I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about.

Re-post but one of my all time favorites (somewhat altered)

One day a father and his two daughters, Petal and Fridge, were having a picnic. Petal curiously asks her father; "Daddy, why is my name Petal?" to which he replies; "Well honey on the day you were born a petal from a beautiful flower slowly fell through the air and landed right on your forehead. Your mother and I thought the name fit you perfectly." Then Fridge asks; "BRAW WAW AAWWW OOWWW AHH AAWA?"

Lunch theif

At work, I constantly found my lunch to be missing from the lunchroom fridge. I decided to get back at this thief, so I began making two lunches; one with a very strong laxative, and the other without. I hid my regular lunch towards the back of the fridge, wrote my name on both of these bags. Needless to say, weight gain and terrible diarrhea are bad ways to discover I have Alzheimer's.

Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat?

Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed.

….Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the fridge.

I found some dressing in my fridge that expires on 12-21-2012....

It's called Mayanaisse....

I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal.

AND THEY'RE OFF!!

I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore...

I'm moving the fridge to my room.

Hide and seek.

A girl was teaching a boy about her own rules at hide and seek: "If you can find me in 20 minutes, you may hold my hand. If you can find me in 10 minutes, you may kiss me. If you can find me in 2, you may do whatever you want to me, and I always hide behind the fridge."

Three old women are discussing how their memory isn't what it used to be.

The first woman says, "Sometimes, I'm in the elevator, and I don't remember if I'm going up or down."
"The second woman says, "sometimes, I have a bottle of mayonnaise in my hand, and I don't remember if I'm taking it out of the fridge or putting it back."
"The third woman says, "Well, I don't have any of those problems, knock wood," knocking on the table. "Oh, hold on a second, someone's at the door."

Married mathematicians deciding what to get from the store.

A husband and wife are mathematicians. Husband asks the wife if she needs anything from the store. She looks in the fridge and says she needs eggs.

"How many?" he asks standing right next to her.
She yells, "4!".

He wonders for a moment why she yelled, figures it out and comes back with two dozen.

Why do men want their brides to wear white?

Because they want the dishwasher to match with the fridge.

You can explore fridge cabinets reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fridge stove dad jokes. There are also fridge puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas.

I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

There are 500 bricks on a plane...

- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?

499

- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge

- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge

- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?

Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.

- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?

The alligators are all at the birthday party.

- Sally dies anyways. Why?

She got hit in the head by a flying brick

There were two sisters

There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.

One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"

His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."

Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".

A girl asks her father...

A girl asks her father, "Why was I called violet?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were a baby a violet landed on your head."

Another girl asks her father, "Why was I called Rose?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head."

Another girl asks her dad, "Heyasdeasuadwxosj" And the dad replies, "Shut up fridge."

[NSFW] What's the difference between a woman and a Fridge?

A Fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge?

Killed.

A joke I heard at mass

A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol"

The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then grabs a can of coors light and dips it in the sink. As he does it he says "from this day on, you will be known as green tea"

An old man goes back to bed ...

And asks his wife " does the light in our bathroom turn on and off automatically ", she replies with "No why?", the old man sighs and says "well.... I'm going to buy a new fridge tomorrow"

What do me and my fridge have in common?

Were both empty inside and weigh a tonne

Why do guys gain weight after marriage?

Because when they're single, they come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. When they're married, they come home, see what's in the bed, and go to the fridge...

Two sisters

There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."

"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday

I know its not the greatest gift, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it.

The UK Government has decided to make LSD legal as a drug for weight loss

It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary...

I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.

A father was sitting at the table with his two daughters

Petal and Fridge.

Petal said, "Dad, why is my name Petal?"

Her dad answered, "Because a flower petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."

Then Fridge said, "HUURRGRRUWAHGUWAAAAAH!"

Why are married women heavier than single women?

When single women get home, they settle in, take a peek at what's in the fridge, and head for bed. When married women get home, they settle in, take a peek at what's in bed, and head for the fridge.

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for valentine's day..

A bit of an unconventional present, I know!

But you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

My wife has a body of a 12 year old..

She keeps it in the fridge.

What's the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

Bachelor comes home, checks out what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, checks out what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.

My friend and I started replacing the word 'in' with 'inside'.

For example, if we wanted to say, "it's in the fridge", we'd instead say "it's inside the fridge".

One day, my parents caught onto this. They asked me why I was saying "inside" instead of "in".

I responded,

"it's an inside joke".

Why do women gain weight after they get married?

Single women come home, look in the fridge, and go to bed. Married women come home, look in the bed, and go to the fridge.

My wife left a note on the fridge saying, "This isn't working, goodbye."

I opened the refrigerator and it works just fine. Weird.

My wife and I had a huge argument because she accidentally flooded the kitchen

but we've sorted it now. It's all water under the fridge.

I bought my mom a fridge as birthday present

Her face really lit up when she opened it.

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.

There's a strange new trend at work, people are writing names on the food in the company fridge

Today I had a chicken sandwich named Kevin

Retarded

Me: I just put my laundry in the fridge. Sometimes I think I am retarded.

Friend: Oh! I do that all the time.

Me: Put clothes in the fridge?

Friend: No. Think that you are retarded.

My missus was furious at me for kicking dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet.

So far I've got twelve fridges.

BOSS: What's going on here?

BOSS: What's going on here?

JAMES: Dave's mad because he specifically labelled his sandwich in the fridge and I accidentally-

DAVE: Not accidentally, on purpose!!

JAMES: ugh ok FINE. And I, "on purpose", slept with his wife

I like how the girl that called me a loser in high school is now blowing up my phone

She sends me things like what are your plans for dinner and Your dad and I are going out for dinner there's food in the fridge

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, This isn't working. I am leaving, good bye.

I opened up the fridge and it seems to be working just fine...and she says I'm the stupid one?

Why are married women...

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Because single women come home, see what's in the fridge, and go to bed, whereas married women come home, see what's in the bed, and go to the fridge!

I have a fridge that beeps when it detects mold

Spoiler alert

So, I bought my sister a fridge for her birthday.

You should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

I got my best friend a fridge for his birthday,

I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

A guy was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.

After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new name is Gomes."
Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Kingfisher Beer, dipped it in water 3 times and said: "You are now a new creation, the old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!"

I always knock on the front door of my fridge ...

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

Europe is like a fridge

You have the freezing cold part at the top

Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection

Then down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease

If you cannot find your dog, open the fridge door.

He's standing right behind you.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

I always knock before I open a fridge

Just in case there's a salad dressing

I bought a world map for my wife, and gave her a dart. I said, "Where ever this lands, that's where I am taking you after this pandemic is over."

Turns out we are spending two weeks behind the fridge.

For my wife's birthday I bought her the fancy new fridge that she wanted

You should have seen her face light up when she opened it

You should always knock on the fridge door..

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

A squirrel in the refrigerator

A man comes home after a hard day's work and opens the refrigerator

to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.

What are you doing in my fridge? the man asks.

The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, Isn't this a Westinghouse?

Um, yes, the man replies. It is.

Well then, the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, I am twying to west.

So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working."

Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.

My wife purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, Throw this and wherever it lands—that's where I'm taking you when this pandemic ends.

Turns out, we're spending two weeks behind the fridge.

For Christmas, I bought my wife a world map and gave her a dart. I told her to throw it and wherever it lands, we will go on vacation after this pandemic is over.

Turns out we are spending two weeks behind the fridge.

What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

The fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

(Before anyone gets their boxers in a twist, I'm a gay man myself and still think this is hilarious.)

A husband rudely said to his wife that she had really let herself go and put on a lot of weight since they got married

The wife replied by saying before she got married she used to get home at night and look in the fridge but because nothing looked appealing she would go to bed. But now that she's married when she gets home at night she'd look in the bedroom but as nothing in there looks appealing she goes to the fridge.

A few hours ago I dropped a piece of ice

It slid under the refrigerator. I was really upset at first but now it's water under the fridge.

An emaciated man was found dead in his bathtub.

The apparent cause of death was starvation. Oddly, he still had enough food in his fridge, and no apparent mobility problems that would prevent him from getting to it. His relatives did not know of any mental problems either.

The best investigator in the city was called to the scene. She takes one look at the bathroom and asks the relatives,

"Was he a programmer?"

"Yes, why?"

She wordlessly shows them a large shampoo bottle with an instruction: "1. Apply the shampoo. 2. Rinse. 3. Repeat the procedure."

Old Fridge

A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying, "Free to good home—you want it you take it." For three days, the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.

He eventually decided that people were rather skeptical about such a good deal, so he changed the sign to read, "Fridge for sale, $50."

The next day, someone stole it.

So I brought a world map and asked my wife to shoot a dart on it and wherever it lands, I will take her there for two weeks when pandemic ends.

It's her day 5 behind the fridge.

Some guy stole all the milk out of my fridge today

How dairy

I always make sure to knock on the fridge before opening

Just in case there is a salad dressing

i rubbed a lamp once and a genie came out of it

he said i'll grant you one wish, i said i wish i could talk to cheese

*poof* he granted my wish and disappeared

a few days later i'm in my house, and i open the fridge out of boredom and i see this block of cheese

and it said to me: "hey mister, i don't wanna stay in your fridge forever, i have grater plans"

How do you fit four elephants in a mini-cooper car?

Two in the front. Two in the back. How do you know there's an elephant in your fridge?

You open the door and see an elephant. How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?

When the door doesn't quite close. How do you know when there's three elephants in the fridge?

They giggle when the light goes out. How do you know there's four elephants in the fridge?

There's an empty mini-cooper parked in your drive!

Why should you always knock on the door before you open the fridge?

Because there might be a salad dressing!

Always knock before opening the fridge.

There could be a salad dressing.

My wife made me a turkey sandwich from lunchmeat in the fridge. I told her I could not eat it...

Doc said I had to quit cold turkey.

I bought my wife a fridge as an anniversary present.

I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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Source: https://jokojokes.com/fridge-jokes.html

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